Extra Credit (Relationships)

My mother is incapable of shopping alone so she tends to drag me around with her. While she was loading the shopping cart down at Sams one day I decided to browse the book isle. I discovered a book written by Steve Harvey entitled Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, what men really think about love,relationships, intimacy, and commitment. Because we had recently chosen our group topics and mine was relationships I purchased the book. The book is extremely straightforward and the author does not hold anything back. The book reveals and discusses several of the differences between what men want in a relationship and what women want. As I was reading this book, It started to seem that the information he was providing was pretty accurate. So I decided to ask some of my guy friends if there was any truth behind the books theory's. And to my surprise, a large majority agreed with the book, almost to the letter. The book talked about how men usually need to reach a certain point in their personal life and career before being ready to settle down with a woman. On the other hand, women tend to not feel the need to be successful before they fall in love. Not that they don't want to be successful it just that women and men have different priorities. The book teaches that men need boundaries and if you do not establish some rules then most likely you're man will walk all over you. It gave advice on how to break a "Mama's Boy" and broke down the phases that men go through when experiencing a relationship into three parts : Profess, Provide , and Protect. When men are in the profess stage he gives you a title like girlfriend or something, and he wants to make sure everyone knows that your his but if you have been going out for a while and still do not have a title hes probably not very interested. furthermore, the book was extremely insightful and seemed to accurately depict the differences in how men "love" and how women "love".

Blog 12

All too often in today's society young girls are pressured to have a specific type of look. They are supposed to be skinny, and beautiful with perfect teeth etc. Because of these preconceptions, too many young girls develop eating disorders. The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Eating Disorders is an organization that attempts to help women of all ages who suffer from eating disorders. They try to provide healthy alternatives for females who are working to overcome disorders. They have over 200 support groups nation wide and are totally funded through donations and gifts. The ANAD has special workshops and goes to High Schools across the nation attempting to teach young girls about the disorders and how to either seek help for themselves of for friends. I think that targeting high school students more so than older women is a very smart tactic. Younger girls tend to feel more pressure to fit in and therefore will result to more extreme alternatives in order to do so. One way that I can help is by donating to this organization . They use donations to do everything from help girls seek treatment to printing off flyer's. They also ask for volunteers to serve as group leaders for the support groups that they offer. The ANAD trains the group leaders in a variety of fields and fully equips their leaders with the necessary tools to make a difference in someones life.

Kabul beauty school

For several centuries, American feminists have criticized the lifestyle of Afghan women. Americans tend to view these women as oppressed and helpless because of the requirements that their religion and culture demand. After viewing the Kabul Beauty School film I was able to better understand some of the reasons why the Afghan women conform to such seemingly stringent customs. Although the Kabul Beauty School film focused mainly on the establishment of a beauty school, it also allowed me to see almost firsthand some the problems that Afghan women face today. Although Afghanistan is working to try and equalize gender, very little success has been achieved. As a result, I believe the reasons why the people of Afghanistan have been unsuccessful in modernizing their lifestyles are deeply rooted within gender inequality.
First, I want to discuss some of the stereotypes associated with Afghan women. Afghan women usually dress extremely conservatively and almost always wear a veil when they are anywhere but their own homes. Americans tend to assume that this is one way that the men oppress the women. However according to the assigned reading, Understanding the Other Sister by Susan Muaddi Darraj, the majority of women are not forced to wear the veil but actually choose to do so because of personal religious beliefs. This example shows that Americans are not properly educated on the practices and conditions of the Afghan people.
Second, Afghan women, compared to American women, do in fact have less freedom. Women have very little say, if any, in whom they marry. They are expected to obey their husbands and men are permitted to exercise drastic forms of punishment upon their wives whenever they see fit. These examples prove that men are viewed as superior to women. Throughout the film, the Afghan women struggled with problems that gender inequality has produced. The simple fact that they are not viewed as equal to men accounts for a large majority of their problems. For example, throughout the film the Afghan women had to remind their American teachers that they were not permitted to do some of the things they asked of them such as wear makeup every day. Some of the women admitted that their husbands did not allow them to wear makeup unless they were attending a special event.

Third, the fact that women are inferior to men is exemplified when a child is born. When a woman reproduces a son there are huge celebrations but if a daughter is produced then the celebrations are much smaller and a lot of the time do not exist. This example clearly shows just how little females are valued within the Afghan culture. From birth, females are unequal to males. Afghan women’s opinions and feelings virtually do not matter. It is extremely common for an Afghan male to have multiple wives. If a man’s wife is unsuccessful in providing him a son, then it is completely acceptable for him to take another wife regardless of how his initial wife feels. If women are actually permitted to voice their feelings and opinions the majority of the time, they are still completely disregarded. The amount of authority that men exert over women causes the women to fear their husbands and ultimately allows the men to continue controlling them.
In conclusion, the Kabul Beauty School allowed a sort of safe haven for the Afghan women. It created a place where they could go and remove their veils without fear of chastisement. The school helped bridge the cultural gap between Afghanistan and America. The film helped me to better understand that even though gender inequality is extremely prevalent, some of the things that American women define as oppression are in actuality, deeply rooted religious and cultural beliefs. A large majority of the problems illustrated in the film are a direct result of gender inequality. I believe that in order for Afghanistan to move forward and modernize their country, the current mindset that women are inferior to men must be discontinued.

Blog #11......R & R

The NGO that I chose to blog about isn't widely known. It's an orginization that I hold very dear to me because I personally helped create it. When I was 16 my first "real" job was a teachers assistant in a local day care facility. Our day care was different because it's schedules and structure was designed for children who have been removed from their original homes and placed in government care such as foster homes. After working there for a period of time some of the ladies and myself began to notice a pattern within the children. We were constantly dealing with disruptive children and we noticed that they were acting out for attention. They didn't care whether the attention they recieved was negative of positive they were just desperate for it. So we got together and devised a plan. We took the facilities most problimatic children and assigned them to a specific worker. The workers were instructed to spend quality time with their child and give them just a little extra attention whenever the scheduled allowed. Now this may seem unfair to the rest of the children but at this point our plan was only in the testing phase. We believed that if we gave these children positive encouragement and positive attentive role models then maybe , just maybe , their behavior would improve. And lucky for us, we were right. So we took our idea to the community and asked for their help. After several weeks and tons of help and support form our community we were able to establish R&R. R&R stands for Real Relationships and is designed similar to the big brother program. The team is completely mad up of volenteers from our community and surrounding towns. R&R is funded through donations, sponsers, and pledges.Membership in R&R is completely free and mentors will even pick the children up for their play dates and drop themn off. We, as mentors, strive to engourage the children to strive for something and to believe in themselves. We are dedicated to improving self esteem, helping the children realize the importance of education, and about all promote positive thinking. Lots of thought and consideration goes into the process of selecting children for specific mentors. We try to assign children to a type a mentor that they don't really have in their lives. For example, we know that a child grew up in a broken household with a single mother parent we try to assign a mentor that is male and can demonstrate how positive men live. We strive to assign mentors that can provide for the children whatever it is that they are lacking in their lives. The originization is extremely important because in todays society children are forced to grow up way to early and are losing their oppertunity to just be kids. Throughout the last 3 years we have noticed that the majority of the time, children tend to respond and relate better with a mentor of their gender. having a positive role model that is similar to them helps the children learn how positive members of our community function in thier day to day lives. Our mentors are friends. They play with their kids, attend their school events, take them fishing, ect. They basically take these children as their own and help them deal with whatever life throws at them in the most constructive way.

Blog 10..... "Tough guise"

Society has created this mindset that masculinity is determined by how tough one appears to be. Society teaches boys from a very young age that certain things are girlish or make him weak. Young boys are taught to look after their siblings and female family members. In my opinion society has created a double standard, boys are taught to stand up for themselves and literally fight for themselves and their loved ones yet girls are taught to stand still and look pretty. Some people consider pointing out that men commit the majority of violent crimes "male bashing" but i personally believe that if the facts that are being stated are true than in no may is one male bashing. It is a fact that men do commit the majority of crimes and no one should be criticized for making that information known to the rest of the population.It wouldn't be considered car bashing if someone said that the Bugatti Type 41 Royale was the most expensive car ever sold in the US. As if gender issues aren't enough, we also have to discuss issues of race among buys in America. The media has done a terrible job of portraying men of color. Last semester we did an assignment in my African American studies class where we had to turn on local cable and flip through the channels until we found a show that portrayed African Americans in a positive light. To my surprise, I could hardly find anything to watch without going specifically to channels such a BET. When the day came to present our findings i realized that everyone in the class had trouble completing this assignment because the media doesn't portray minorities the way that whites are portrayed. I believe that the reasons that minorities are seen less and in poor light throughout the media is because the people that regulate the shows we watch are a bunch of rich old white men who still themselves hold racist values and therefor attempt to ignore any race that isn't the majority by allowing minorities to be scarce throughout the media. by allowing the media to promote men of color as dangerous criminals we are encouraging young boys of color to mimic the actions of the older members of their races.

Blog #9........

Personally, I plan to leave my children in some sort of home day care facility. I have worked in both private and public child care facilities and can defiantly tell a difference between the two. Since turning sixteen, I have worked in 4 public day cares and 2 private home day cares. The atmosphere of the two environments is completely opposite. Home day cares are not licensed to carry as many children as public day cares therefore, I feel as if my children will be better tended to as opposed to being in a facility that although may be appropriately staffed for their amount of children there are more children to tend to and therefor less time for each worker with each child. Within day care facilities the meal program is regulated by the government. Cooks must keep meal logs and the meals are required to provide the recommended amount of each food group as is decided by the government. By law, milk must be served with breakfast and lunch, children must be given a fruit and a bread every breakfast. The same rules apply to home day care facilities but the children to staff ratio is much smaller. In public child care facilities the child to staff ratio of 2 year old to 5 year old are 8 :1 which means that I can have 8 children ranging from diapers, to potty training, to being potty trained all at the same time. Its very difficult to balance changing ones diaper and still control the rest of the kids in your classroom. After working in a private home facility I truly enjoy it more. It is much less stressful and therefore much more enjoyable for the children as well as the staff members.

blog 8.....single mothers

With the allowed budget of $1048 a month I began searching for housing. I couldn't find anything in my price range that had enough bedrooms for myself and my 3 children. I found a two bedroom apt on the west side of Moore for $409 a month. But this price doesn't include utilities and its in a neighborhood that isn't considered "safe".This means that the 2 older children would share a room and the baby would sleep with me. After subtracting rent, my budget was $639. I then added utilities which brought my budget to $330. I allowed $200 for food which left me with $130 for childcare, gas, car payment,medical expenses, insurance for both yourself/kids and your car, clothing, school supplies, phone, cable, and personal items such as shampoo and tampons. It is almost impossible to live in this area on this specific budget. The cheapest childcare i could find was $400!! Threes no way that I could even attempt to pay for that! Needless to say I would be in serious debt. Trying to raise a family on this budget is nearly impossible. There would be no money left over for any type of fun activity's family's do. I would imagine that home life would be boring and stressful. With this budget there is little to no varitey in food. the grocery budget I created contained a lot of ramen noodles, Sandwhiches (not PB&J wich it cheaper than meat because I am allergic to nuts) cereal, and mac and cheese. I imagine that the childrens friends would never want to come over to their house and that the mother would be extremely stressed.

PriviLedges

Privilege is a very complicated thing. Some people believe privilege has everything to do with their life and some do not. Personally I believe that discrimmination and being non privileged will make you stronger if you make yourself overcome it and do not let it get you down. Everyone has been discriminated aginst in some way or another throughout their lifetime. It's just something that everyone eventually has to deal with . Though it is sad and unfourtnate, it happends. All women have been called some sort of hurtful name due to their gender and most minorities have had derrogratory statments made twords their race. It's a sad fact, but its true fact.


1. I am privileged to attend the University of Oklahoma. Many people are not afforded the luxery of a college education.


2. I have an amazing family. My family believes, encourages, and supports me through every phase of my life.


3. I have never experienced poverty. Although I am not wealthy, I am not poor and I have always had everything that I needed.


4. I am surrounded by people who love and support me.


5. I am intelligent. Intellect may very well be my favorite privilege.


6. I grew up in a small town that was successful in teaching me morals and kindness.


7. My boyfriend survived a terrible car crash. The privilege of living is amazing.


8. I am healthy. If I need medical attention I have the luxery of going to the doctor.


9. My mother is in my opinion the strongest most caring woman in the world. She can get me through anything.


10. I have the use of my legs. I have a friend that recently lost feeling in his legs after a car crash and I see daily how difficult it is for him to live.


11.I have the luxery of buying items I want not only need


12. I have a wonderful job, I take care of children and I love it!


13. My brother is my best friend, and he would do anything for me.


14. I own my car. i worked very hard to save up the money but I did it and it feels great!


15. My roomate is the best! Im so lucky to have been allowed the privilege of a great roomie instead of a creep.


16. I have been encouraged my entire life. I have always been told I was beautiful and that If I set my mind to it I could achieve any thing!


17.I have never gone to bed hungry because there was not enough food. If I was hungry it was on my own accord.


18. I have never been watched closely in a store because the store owner feared I might steal something simply because of my color.


19. I have never had my vehicle searched simply because of my color.


20. My entire family saves money all year so that at the end we can all take a vacation and spend quality time together!!!!!!

Gender and Advertising blog # 7

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kw9i7vIWxgc


I've attached the link to the commercial that I chose. This is a Viva Paper towel commercial. The images in this commercial are geared directly towards gender. The female of the household is always the star of these types of commercials. In this specific video, the woman is home rearing her child. I find this very stereotypical. The majority of the time it is the female that is expected to stay home with the children. Household cleaning commercials rarely ever feature a man raising the children and cleaning up after everyone. While reviewing advertisements for this assignment I couldn't help but notice a pattern. Almost every single advertisement features a woman doing all of the cleaning and household duties. I personally think think that this is sexist. Why can the men never be doing the cleaning or the laundry? It is advertisements like these that are continuing to encourage gender inequality. These types of commercials assign labels to certain members of the household simply by following traditional mindsets that women belong in the home and not in the workplace.The F.I.F.E reading strongly ties into how the media represents women. Bell Hooks said that to achieve success you must first love yourself. I as a young girl struggled with loving myself for me and not what everyone else wanted me to be. I completely understand why our young girls feel pressured to be this stereotypical type of women. From very young ages children are pressured by society to conform to the gender roles that society has created. I mean walk into your local Walmart store and look around the toy isle. The boys and girls toy sections are clearly separated. Young girls are encouraged to play with dolls instead of cars. In order for gender equality to be achieved women have to stop allowing themselves to be objectified

Paper #1.... Gender Roles

Throughout my life I have been trained to be the traditional American woman. I was raised in a very small town and my family is deeply rooted in the church. The religion I practice is known as Church of Christ. I was born into this specific faith and my mother had me in the church almost every time the doors were open. I was taught to cook, clean, and take care of children. Since the age of fourteen I have helped to run the church nursery and my first job was tending to children at a local day care. I love children so I thoroughly enjoyed my job but I never realized that I was being trained to live a specific lifestyle. My mother was also brought up in the church and raised very similar to the way I was but my mother always encouraged me to go after my dreams and pursue a career as well as poses the qualities that she believes makes a household functional (i.e. cooking and cleaning).
The first time I realized that men and women are not completely considered equal was when I entered High School. As a freshman, my mother encouraged me to participate in extracurricular activities. I had been a cheerleader throughout my Junior High career so I tried out for a position on the High School squad. I participated in the drama club, FFA, 4-H, SWAT, and various other activities. All of these activities were great but my high school was home to a prestigious Mock Trial team. Our Mock Trial team was one of the very few respected extracurricular activities at our school and I really wanted to be a part of it. I spoke with the teacher coach, who was also my English teacher and an old family friend who had been to several of the debates I participated in. She encouraged me to audition for the team. Because she had attended some of my debates, she had noticed that I seemed to possess the ability to think quickly and she urged me to audition for an attorney roll on the team. Prior to my auditioning there had only been three females make the team as an attorney. I practiced very hard and studied the exclusions and exceptions laws for days.
Finally the day came for attorney auditions and I entered the waiting room. To my surprise I was the only female auditioning for the spot. Almost immediately the boys began to ridicule me. They tried to convince me to just leave and save myself the embarrassment because the role of lead attorney always went to a seasoned male. Questions about why the role always went to men were swirling around my brain. I didn’t understand why they believed that because they were boys, they could play the part of attorney better than I. At one point I was so upset at the fact that everyone around me was discouraging me I exited the room to call my mother. After several minutes of crying she reminded me that I had worked very hard for this and if I it be god’s will, and I deserved it , I would get what I wanted , I just had to pull myself together and show the judges exactly how capable I was. Their doubts fueled my desire to obtain the role and although it was very hard, I stayed to audition. When I entered the audition room I noticed there was only one female on the panel of judges. All three judges were flabbergasted that I, a female, was auditioning for this specific part. “Wouldn’t a pretty little girl like you be better suited for a witness role” they said, “Why don’t you audition a role that better suits your personality” they said. Again I was astounded at their disbelief. I looked to the female judge for maybe a look of encouragement or something, but she was just as appalled by my audition choice as the men were.
It was then when I realized that women were still not considered equal to men. Although I was discouraged, I was raised to never quit anything I start so I auditioned for the part. As I sat and waited on the judges to deliberate, I wanted to just leave. I was embarrassed to even be there. The boys in the room continued to taunt me even after my audition and encouraged me to leave before the results were announced in order to save myself from public humiliation. But their attitudes made me so angry I couldn’t leave yet, I had to hear the results. The judges entered the room and announced the first two attorneys. Those roles went to two very intelligent and capable men. The role of lead attorney was the only spot on the team that hadn’t been filled and the odds were not in my favor. There was three other men and myself all up for the position and when the judges announced that I had gotten the part all of my competitors jaws dropped and even though I had proven myself capable of holding my own, my competitors were angry with me rather than happy for me. I as the lead attorney, and two male co-council members led the team to the state championships where we took the state title. I remained on the team as an attorney throughout my high school career. But it wasn’t until we had won several matches and was almost to the state level that my co- council began to respect my ideas. The members of my co- council didn’t appreciate the fact that a girl was lead attorney and therefore telling them how to play their parts.
In conclusion, I believe that women are just as capable as men in any field available and I find it terribly upsetting when young girls are discouraged from doing things because some people feel that a man would better suit that particular job. I hope that because of my personal accomplishments more women will audition for roles within the Mock Trial team that are usually taken by men.

Gender roles Blog 4

As I scanned through all the course options that the women studies program offers at the University of Oklahoma I began to realize that there are courses offered in several of the core areas and many of the courses are considered cross courses. This is fantastic news to me because I have really enjoyed my women's studies class. To be honest, I took the class because it appeared to be the most interesting out of the options that were given to me. But in reality I am so glad that I chose this class because already it has opened my eyes. I am a Sociology major here at OU and I plan to enter Law school. Gender will play a huge part in my career choice. Still today men all across this nation are more highly respected than women in several fields. I feel that simply because of my gender I will have to work harder to gain the respect of many judges and fellow attorneys throughout my lifetime. Even at this stage in my life I have been ridiculed for aspiring to be an attorney. I tried out for my High Schools Mock Trial team my freshman year and when the judges saw that i was auditioning for an attorney place they repeatedly asked me "are you sure", "wouldn't a pretty girl such as yourself be more suited for a witness roll?" None the less, I auditioned and got the part. I and two other male attorneys led our team on to win the state championships that year. I continued to remain on the team throughout my high school career. But as i write this blog my mind cant help but think why, simply because I'm a female, did anyone doubt my abilities? All throughout history women have been doubted and under minded simply because of their gender. Margaret Brent lived in a society where women had no rights and because of her abilities she is widely considered to be the first female attorney in America. She won each of the 124 court cases she was involved in. She is also considered on of the first feminists. Margaret Brent helped to establish women in a field that was dominated by males. I like Margaret Brent, want to do something different. I don't want to conform to the traditional lifestyle that women are "supposed" to live. Yes I would like children and a white picket fence someday, but before I would like to assert myself as a woman, help prove that men and women are equal, that women are just as capable of functioning effectively in a predominately male profession, and that women deserve all of the opportunities that men are afforded.

Blog 3..... Guys get all the glory and girls get named....

the movie was very inspiring to me. Prior to enrolling in this class I had been taught very little about women's suffrage. I mean yes we do learn about it in our high school history classes but the subject was very lightly touched on. I cant help but wonder if the reason behind students not being properly taught about women's suffrage has anything to do with American school systems basic curriculum. Is it not required to study women's suffrage just a little more in depth? Or is it not as important as some of the other historic events? I was aware that women had little to no rights but the movie helped me to visualize just how awful women's lives really were. The women fighting for simple things such as the right to vote were spit on , beaten, and imprisoned for their beliefs. Simply because they were women!! My mind is having problems fathoming how someone could actually believe that they are better than someone else based on their gender. I have grown up in a time where women are better recognized as capable human beings and I have been afforded many more opportunities than the women of the past.Being a feminist in those days was dangerous in my mind. People ridiculed feminists. Even in today's society the word feminist scares some people. I personally think this stems from a lack of education on the subject. I have learned that by being a feminist, I'm not so man hating, hairy, bitchy woman. I by being a feminist simply want equal opportunities for men and women.

My Life be like ooohh ahhhh ;)

Hello! My name is Wendy Barton. I'm currently a sophomore and am majoring in Sociology. I am originally from Atoka Oklahoma. I enjoy summers at the lake and taking trips with my friends. My passion is dancing. I love love love performing. My hometown is very small you know, one of those towns that a simple Wal-Mart trip takes 2 hours because you see so many people that you know and you have to stop and chat.I have spent the majority of my teenage years fishing and mu dding for fun on the weekends. I have one older brother and two beautiful puppies :).My family is very important to me. To be honest, I'm taking this class because it was the most interesting out of the choices for my major.....but I really am enjoying it!
A Few things that I want to learn through this class:

1. What is a feminist?
2. can men be Feminists
3. Why do people criticize feminists so harshly?